The Source of All Pain (The David Deida Workshop – Part 2)

November 11, 2009

In just a few days, I had bought my ticket, booked my flight, found a roommate and a ride to the event.  I was in the perfect state of mind, which I define as having very low expectations while simultaneously holding very high hopes (this creates the most open space possible… think about it).

As 300 of us sat patiently in the ballroom of the beautiful Rancho Bernardo Inn, David came on stage and simply looked out at all of us for 30 seconds before he spoke (by the way, if you ever speak in public, this is a wonderful tactic.  It centers you, gets you in alignment with the energy of your audience, while increasing the curiosity and attention of the crowd).

He began with a history of consciousness that led to a profound conclusion – consciousness moves from time into space.  For example, as humans we can look at a yard stick and see that it is three feet long.  But an ant, who has limited spatial consciousness cannot.  The ant can walk across the yard stick, and thus experience it as 15 minutes long.  It experiences that dimension in time.  Make sense?  So for humans, emotions are currently experienced in time.  We say, “I was angry for fifteen minutes.”  But as we become more conscious, we will experience anger in space.  Some of us have already done it, as we realize that we store our emotions in our body (tight shoulders anyone?).

Our own emotions exist in space, and have a huge impact on everyone around us. You’ve probably already noticed that if you’re in a bad mood, or stressed out, you can easily stress out the people around you.  And if you’re truly happy (as opposed to simply excited), then you can lift the people around you.  This became painfully clear as David had us do an exercise (you can try this right now)…

Imagine yourself in the most beautiful room you can fathom (I chose a huge open living room, with a wall of windows and french doors opening up to a long pool with cabanas around it).  Then imagine the partner of your dreams comes into the room, sits and curls up next to you and kisses you.  Feel that for a moment.  Now here’s the punch line…  Whenever we are in a state in which we feel less than this relaxed, we are actually causing suffering to everyone around us.

It suddenly hit me how much suffering I had caused.  It made such an impact I could have gone home at that moment with a realization that was worth the full tuition.  But we had not even hit 5 mph yet.


Next:  The Difference Between Men and Women (Part 3)