August 5, 2015
Great cultures
I had the honor of podcasting with Mark McKergow, author of Host. This is the most compelling leadership philosophy I’ve heard. It completely aligns withe culture of the network age. You can listen to the whole podcast here.
August 3, 2015
Great cultures
There’s a certain irony to giving speeches and writing books as a “culture expert” because culture must be experienced to believe it.
Robert James Waller said it best when he was talking about romance…
I looked up the definition of romance in several dictionaries. As I guessed, reading the definitions of romance is about the most unromantic thing you can do…
Romance you see, is something that you take care of – romance needs food and water and care, of a kind all her own. You can destroy romance, or ate least drive her away without knowing that you are doing it.
Romance dances just beyond the firelight, in the corner of your eye. She does not like you to look at her directly, she flees from the cold light of logic and data collection when it is turned toward her. If you persist in trying to study her, however, she first disintegrates, then dissolves into nothing at all.
E.B. White once said a similar thing about humor which, ‘can be dissected, as a frog, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.’ You can’t get at romance, then, by good old Western reductionism.
That’s why for each of my topics (culture hacking, innovation and values-driven culture), I like to create an experience for people. It’s what really lasts, and it’s the most powerful way to shift beliefs without ever preaching.
July 6, 2015
Hacks ,Personal Exploration ,Vision
“It’s either a Hell Yeah, or it’s a No.” – Derek Sivers.
I’ve found this quote to be a great decision making tool. We have so many choices of how to spend our time, money and energy. So why do anything less than a “Hell Yeah!”?
Not only can it be hard to say No to things. It’s not always easy to evaluate an opportunity and understand if it’s really a Hell Yeah.
So here is a decision-making framework I developed.
It starts with, is this my unique ability? (a concept pioneered by Dan Sullivan of Strategic Coach). A unique ability is a talent that you have passion and skills for, there is a need for it, and most importantly, you feel it gives you energy.
Next, I’ve found that amorphous opportunities can lack a clear end goal and a first next step. This key to know what we’re committing to.
The last two are my favorites. “If I know for certain this will fail, is it still worth it?” If the answer is yes, it means the journey and the learning make it worth it. If it’s no, then be careful of the ends justifying the means. Can you pick opportunities that are inherently worth it?
And then, “If I know this will be much more work than I thought, is it still worth it?” Projects look so easy when they start, and then all the details come in and we spend far more time than we expected. Do you look at that possibility and say, “Yes! I love working this on anyway, so bring on more of it!” Or do you say, “I’m doing this because it’s fast and quick”?
If your opportunity or idea passes all of these questions, then you’ve got a Hell Yeah! If not, just remember that leaving space in your life or schedule will allow you to focus on what you already care about, or leave space for something new to come in.
June 25, 2015
Personal Exploration ,Popular Articles
“People are always saying to get out of your comfort zone,” said Neal Rogin, my friend and stand-up comedian. “That sounds horrible. I love my comfort zone. In fact, there are many parts of my comfort zone I haven’t even explored yet!”
It’s funny and yet I realized: My comfort zone is actually not that comfortable.
I change careers every three years. I’ve gone into massive debt and risen out of it. I’ve joined cult like organizations, and immersed myself in improv and stand-up comedy. I’ve actively induced panic attacks just to learn what’s underneath them. I’ve been skydiving, scuba diving, and explored every cleanse, diet and self development program you can mention. I’ve been to Burning Man three times over a decade (and these are just the things I’m public about!).
None of it has been comfortable, and yet it’s my comfort zone because it’s what I know. It’s what I’ve always done.
I wonder if what’s out of my comfort zone is actually most people’s modus operandi – A long-term relationship, having kids, creating a real home. I’ve wanted these things for a long time and yet my behavior and results clearly tell another story. Could it be that I’m deeply afraid of what most of the world seems to have mastered?
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Jack Canfield.
Is this true? Do I simply need to look at what I’m afraid of and my desire is right there beyond it?
In order to answer the question, I want to know… What is fear?
Fear has been an intimate friend of mine for as long as I can remember. A friend died when I was three years old so I was afraid of my own death. I was afraid of my parents leaving. I was afraid of break-ins at the house after it was burglarized while I was in it. I was afraid of the roller coasters my friends loved. I was afraid of ghosts and aliens, and I was even more afraid of talking to girls.
I don’t know what fear is, but I found a great clue today from A Course in Miracles.
“Fear is always a sign of strain, arising when what you want conflicts with what you do. This situation arises in two ways: First, you can choose to do conflicting things, either simultaneously or successively. This produces conflicted behavior which is intolerable to you because the part of the mind that wants to do something else is outraged. Second, you can behave as you think you should, but without entirely wanting to do so. This produces consistent behavior, but entails great strain. In both cases, the mind and the behavior are out of accord, resulting in a situation in which you are doing what you do not wholly want to do. This arouses a sense of coercion that usually produces rage, and projection is likely to follow.”
While I don’t know what fear is, I’m finding this much more important because I’m learning the conditions for fear. And this is the main condition:
“Whenever there is fear, it is because you have not made up your mind.”
This makes so much sense to me. I was afraid of death because I had not made up my mind about what comes after it. I was afraid of roller coasters because I was on the fence about whether I would follow my desire or sit it out. Now that I’ve decided on these they have actually become sources of comfort and pleasure.
And I see it in others as well…
I remember when I went vegan and told two friends about it. One said, “Nope. No way I could ever do that.” She was not afraid of going vegan. She had decided. She was clear. There was no fear. The other friend went into a state of terror as he said, “I can’t not eat meat!” He was clearly on the fence which means some part of him wanted it.
Take my mother. She is not afraid of sky diving. Fear doesn’t even register in her brain because she’s simply not doing it. End of story. And yet, if you invite someone on the fence to go sky diving, they will immediately go into fear.
But, you may ask, what if the person decides and says yes, but then they still feel fear? Ahhh, then it’s actually not fear. When the mind is no longer on the fence, that means it is no longer judging. When we stop judging we start allowing. And so the body sensations of fear – shaking, intense energy, sweating, light-headedness – they all become merely that: Sensations.
Take someone like Richard Branson, who has started hundreds of businesses and death defying acts, all while having a calm, cool and charming personality. The title of his book says it all: Screw it, let’s do it. It’s pure commitment.
What’s helped me most is having a decision-making framework for commitment. I’ll share that in the next post.
